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How To Cope With Personal Anxiety Within A Relationship

What are the causes of anxiety within a relationship? Why would a relationship make you anxious?

One of the reasons for anxiety within a relationship is that the relationship is making you feel insecure about the strength of your commitment or wonder if the feelings and goals are mutual. Sometimes this is because feelings develop at different paces and sometimes it is because there is a sense that there is something going on with the other person that is troubling, and there are real doubts. Generally though, when there is anxiety, there is a reason for it, and that needs to be addressed. If the discussion or exploration of the issues and feelings is unsuccessful or not satisfying, a couple needs to seek professional help in order to understand what is happening and be able to communicate about it constructively. Sometimes this leads to strengthening the bond and sometimes to a realization that the relationship is not going to work.

Another reason for anxiety in a relationship is a history of “bad” relationships. Often when traumatic things happened in a prior relationship such as painful break up, cheating, among other possibilities, there is a tendency to be afraid of that happening again. Often these fears can become self-fulfilling prophecies and there is a tendency to be overly vigilant or suspicious to ward off anxious feelings, thereby alienating one’s partner. This is a good time to explore these fears in therapy to gain a sense of what is really going on.

Sometimes there is personal anxiety in a relationship simply because of an anxiety disorder that is present and untreated. I am talking about an individual who is generally anxious and this anxiety takes over the relationship. This is another situation when therapy and possibly medication may be appropriate.